Back in America

Readjustment to life in America is different than I thought it would be... I expected culture shock with the large stores, hearing lots of American slang, and a strong desire to be back in Italy. Instead, I've faced smaller awkward moments known only to me - be it feeling overwhelmed while surrounded in a room with talking women, feeling like I just don't fit in anywhere, or having the desire to seek God but not taking advantage of the time I have to be with Him. More than anything, it's been a spiritual battle. I've begun re-raising support for the '08-'09 school year and it's been a struggle. (Not that support raising's ever been easy.) It's such a time of lies creeping into your mind. Transition periods are dangerous like that. A couple weeks ago I was lying on my mom's bed talking with her about how I felt useless and had no purpose. She was quick to point out that I was believing a lie. Every day I have a purpose. I live to glorify God. Recently, though, I've struggled to have joy in that knowledge. I want to rejoice in what God has for me, specifically the plan in the next year at UCF. I do not want to be distracted by circumstances out of my control or lies that the enemy has been feeding me (ie: my car wreck last week and the lie that God doesn't want to provide for my needs).

I thank God for people close to me that remind me of my passion for the lost. People that remind me of the harvest that is at UCF, of the students desiring discipleship and partnership in the Gospel. The people that speak my support presentation back to me, that remind me why I do what I do.

Please pray that God would renew my joy in Him daily, that I would overflow and go out in confidence that He will provide. He is faithful to continue to shape me into the woman He desires me to be - shaping can just be painful sometimes.

Father, my hope is that each person I meet would be encouraged by you in me. Be glorified in me.